My Dearest Sweetheart,
If I could change places with you I would, in a heartbeat. All I can do is standby and watch, as your mind goes faster and faster, and your thoughts race towards that imaginary disaster. (I do know to you however, it feels real, very real).
I'm trying to do my best for you, getting that balance between giving you the love and support you need, but letting you also find you're own way through this. You see, there's really only you who can change the way you feel, but we will be there with you every step of the way. (We are your marathon support team, handing out refreshments and encouragements when you are flagging).
And to that fear in you head, well if I could clamber in there, and throw out those muddled, unwanted thoughts, then I would, but I can't. So you're going to have to fight them, you're going to need to stand up against them...tell them to sod off, that they are lying to you, and have no place in your head. (On this occasion, if you feel you need to swear, I won't mind...I swear at them too).
Next time, when you are chatting with your friend, and she accidentally spits on your face, and a tiny drop lands in your mouth, stay calm. It's ok, it's not going to hurt you, or make you ill. In fact, thank your friend! That tiny exchange of bodily fluid means your body is now making extra antibodies, making you extra healthy...hooray for any bits of bodily fluid that comes your way! (Eventually there will be someone you really want to kiss, I'm hoping this will be quite a few years away, but it will happen, and there's a lot of bodily fluid exchange in a kiss, think of this as preparation for that day).
Find your happy place, your calm space. Find somewhere that makes you forget all your worries and woes, somewhere where those silly thoughts can't find you. You are very creative, I'm sure you will find a place, and it will be somewhere that's amazing. (Mine as you know is my garden, and studio...feel free to join me anytime, I'm always grateful for an extra pair of hands for weeding!).
We love you with all our heart, your dad and I. We love the very bones of you. We love your creativity, your very kind heart, the way you make us laugh out loud every day. We love that beautiful smile of yours, and the way it makes your eyes twinkle. We just love you. It's makes us sad, and angry when we see you like this, but it doesn't have to last forever. YOU have the power within you to change. Believe in yourself.
Love Mum :) xxx
(Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post, thank you for sharing, thank you for your support).
Learn to chill like Otto ;) xxx