Thursday 26 February 2015

A Little Story About Southwold, A Family And A Woman With MS.....

 

 
The first time we went to Southwold, we fell in love....our perfect seaside town. We had just got both girls in school, I'd just landed myself a brilliant job, and we had money in our pockets for the first time since starting our family. We could eat at the lovely restaurants, I could shop in the lovely shops....no penny pinching, life felt good. Very good.
We discovered the cafe by the boathouse which served the most delicious cakes, and I just adored the battered, mismatched vintage decor. We sat on the beach, watching the girls in the sea, talking about paying off our mortgage early, then travelling the world we them. Yes, very good.
I knew my little family was complex, I knew we were a bit quirky. I could handle this, I felt I could take on the world......bring it on.
 
 
The next year, once again we found ourselves sat on the beach, watching the girls in the sea. This time however, things were very different. Someone had turned my life upside down, sprinkled its contents all over the floor, and I was scrabbling about, desperately trying to make sense of things.
The year had been difficult, my mums behaviour had changed dramatically, we had watched her disappear bit by bit. It had been hard, looking after her as well has holding down a full on stressful job, and caring for the girls.
I had become increasingly tired, unwell, one virus after the other, refusing to take any time off work, refusing to appear weak. Everything however changed in a second, suddenly I couldn't move my body. I felt the change. I knew it was serious. I was forced to take time off work.....my body was making sure of that!
Just a few days before our holiday, I'd been sat with my neurologist who told me I had Multiple Sclerosis. He offered me no hope. No plan. No treatment. I just needed to 'look after' myself. Not everyone who has MS ends up in a wheelchair, so just live your life, don't think about the future too much, try not to worry, the stress will have an adverse affect on the MS.
 
 
So that was the holiday where I wanted to walk. I had an overwhelming urge to walk, and walk, and walk. I not sure what I thought was going to happen. Perhaps I thought I would wake up one day and not be able to get out of bed, it can happen that way with MS, after all I had woken up one morning and I'd lost most of my sight. I was very scared.
I now know that things don't usually happen like that, many people have no real mobility issues, some very quickly need to use wheelchairs. Some, like me, progress slowly. I might not get any worse than I am now. But at the time I didn't know this. I wanted to walk, so I did.
My poor family, no sooner had we got back to the cottage I would be dragging them back out again...,let's just walk along the beach again, let's just have a stroll around the town....
 
 
Our next trip to Southwold was a couple of years later, we were camping in Norfolk and I decided a day trip to Southwold was in order......I hadn't figured on how long the traffic jams would be! We did however enjoy a lovely few hours, on the beach, on the pier. Sadly the boathouse cafe had been revamped and for me, lost its charm, the cakes I'm told are still delicious.
I was in a much happier place, I'd returned to work part time, and adopted lifestyle and diet changes that gave me hope in managing my MS. Mum was being cared for in a lovely Nursing Home. Things were different, but good.
 
 
Last year I visited Southwold with my friend, we were having a girly weekend away. I didn't walk far this time.....but we did enjoy the sun, the sea and a couple of glasses of wine.
This was a sitting and putting the world to right break, not much walking required! It felt strange being there without my family. Wrong somehow...
 
 
And this time, well that was perfect. I strolled around, camera in hand, snapping away. There was a little warmth in the sun, the girls really wanted to get in the sea, we had a great time on the pier, and a lovely dinner.
We stayed on the beach until the sun was setting and it got too cold to endure. And I walked, yes much slower, but there were plenty of benches to rest on when needed. We updated our mandatory picture of the girls sat on the cannons. We didn't eat ice cream.
I really need to live by the sea, it does me good........
 
Amanda :) xxx
 
 
 
Next post I shall review the cottage we stayed in.....if that's ok! ;) xxx

 

 

 

56 comments:

  1. What a rollercoaster ride through the last few years! I have no experience of your illness and the extra needs of your daughter, but the whole idea that things and feelings can change, if you hang on in there and let time pass. It really hits a note. Best Wishes Fliss x
    P.S. I've never been to Southwold but it looks like a wonderful place.

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    1. You are so right Felicity, it can be a very dark place when you are told something like this, the same really with any chronic medical condition, but with time feelings do change....us human beings are great at adapting! :) xxx

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  2. Thanks for sharing your story. I too woke up one morning with something wrong with my body. I couldn't raise my arm. I thought that's weird. Next day it was my other arm, then my legs. After a bunch of dr visits and a trip to the er I was diagnosed with lupus. I was off work for weeks, but slowly got back to almost normal. That was years ago and I have remarried since then, still working, taking my meds and doing ok. I'm glad you seem to be managing as well.

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    1. We think we are invincible don't we Ann, I'm so pleased you are managing your condition so well and you've carved a new life out for yourself......thanks for visiting me :) xxx

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  3. I loved this post. Very candid and honest. You write in such a way that I can feel what you are saying. I live close to Southwold and we visit about once a year. Really wish it was more. I'm glad you enjoyed your time here x

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    1. Thank you....I keep it real, and who knows maybe someone will read this who's going through something similar, there is life after a diagnosis, you might just have to put a different spin on it that's all :) xxx

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  4. It has been quite a journey for you. I am glad that you can still walk, and don't feel the need to do it in such a frenetic way. Things like this are big things in life to deal with, but it sounds as though you are getting as good a handle on it as anyone can do. I am glad for you that you returned, with your family, and that you all enjoyed it. xx

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    1. Thanks Amy, no coast to coast walks for me, but who knows maybe in the future! Until then, I'm happy with pottering! :) xxx

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  5. Oh my you have been on a journey and a half.
    Julie

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  6. Beautiful area; can't wait to see the cottage!

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  7. Hi Amanda, I was really looking forward to your photos ( and they are gorgeous) but it's your words that touched me. Thank you for sharing all this so honestly and candidly.
    I'm really glad your time by the sea, in your special place, was perfect.
    I'm going this summer and no doubt I'll think of you and your family when I'm there.
    Wouldn't it be funny if your cottage is the same one we have booked :0)
    Jacquie xxx

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    1. Thank you Jacquie, it really is a special place for me but it wasn't until I wrote this that I realised why, I hope we will be going for many more years....strolling along the beach huts or to the end of the pier. I will post my review of the cottage soon :) xxx

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  8. Beautiful words.What an amazing lady you are! We went to Southwold last summer too. It was very lovely, the sky was blue and the sea was turquoise. It felt like the Med! It is quite a quirky, cool place and I can see how it holds a special place in your heart. Did you try the Two Magpies Bakery? Oh my word, it's worth a trip to Southwold alone! x

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    1. Thank Jen, it is a quirky place isn't it.....no not tried the bakery but I will on my next visit! :) xxx

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  9. I think and I hope that you are landing back in a good place, where all things are possible and with the ability to work your way through the things you want to do, and changes you want to make. It's lovely to see your pictures, living by the sea could be good!? X

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    1. If only I could win the lotto Heather, that would be my first purchase! Thank you my dear, I'm in a place of acceptance but still with enough edge to do what I can, it would be very easy to give in but I will just keep doing what I can! :) xxx

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  10. Wow, I can see why it is such a special and emotional place for you Amanda. You have such a wonderful positive outlook on life. Absolutely loved your photos - beautiful place - those beach huts! I hope you manage to get back there as often as you can and take every opportunity to lift your spirits. xxx

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    1. Already planning my next visit! It's a very special place....just need to workout how we can afford it!!! ;) xxx

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  11. so lovely to see southwold through your blog post, i havent been for over 12 years, funny thing is when i last went i was living the high life in london (well, not so high, but young, free and the world was my oyster and i had a good job)...my ex boyfriends parents owned a lovely holiday home there...lovely place, fond memories ;) xx i bet the seaside did you good ? xx

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    1. Thank you so much......Now that's the kinda boyfriend to have ;) xxx

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  12. I'm so glad that your latest trip was full of fun and food and hope. I loved reading this honest and heartwarming post. I don't often comment here, but I enjoy reading your blog very much. I have never been to Southwold, but I can say with assurance that living by the sea is the best medicine.
    Leanne xx

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    1. Thank you so much for your comments Leanne, they really do mean a lot too me :) xxx

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  13. Southwold is a favourite place of ours too. Your pictures show it off beautifully and your story of your life journey makes humbling reading. Continue to use Southwold as a tool for healing and strength and joy.

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    1. Thanks Linda, I think Southwold has definately turned into that for me, quite unexpectedly I may add :) xxx

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  14. It sounds like you've had a hard few years but are coming out the other side now. I'm glad you have this beautiful place to return to that lifts your spirits no matter what.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, yes a place to lift my spirit....very apt :) xxx

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  15. WOW,what a heart warming story.Love the photos,never been there but it is beautiful.I live 5 mins away from the beach and love it so much can't live anywhere else.Do wish you all the very best in the future,sending positive vibes.hugs xx

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    1. Oh to live just 5minutes from the sea.....you're living my dream Lee! ;) xxx

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  16. Your visiting all my favourite places we always stay in a little village called Westleton, in fact we are off there again in the summer (can't wait) Life with Chronic illness is so tough, but living by the sea helps, I might not get down to the beach often as I'm mostly stuck in the house but it's wonderful to know it's there, feel well
    Clare x

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    1. I think you should have a 'shoot' designed Clare, take you straight from your home to the waters edge, with no effort needed......or perhaps a magic wand to transport you there in an instant! Wouldn't that be good?..... Have a lovely trip, Westleton is lovely :) xxx

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    2. Sounds like a great plan to me xxx

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  17. My son used to holiday in Southwold with his grandparents when he was young, he has many happy memories of the place. It's good to find a place that can give you emotional renewal xx

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    1. I'm hoping my girls will look back fondly on their trips to Southwold too :) xxx

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  18. Thank you for sharing this. You are human ;-) just like us....

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    1. Very human Katrien......would love to be super human! ;) xxx

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  19. Oh my dear. You are a positive inspiration. I have never been to Southwold, but it looks such an amazing...and beautiful place.

    Nina x

    (my dad has MS)

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    1. Thanks Nina, you will have first hand experience of MS.....we need our family and friends around for support, practical and emotional. It's is a beautiful place....great photo opportunities, ;) xxx

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  20. My sis in law had MS diagnosed at 40 and deteriorated v quickly (after the experimental drug). The worst kind and life shortening kind. she will hopefully see a first grandchild in June (50 now). We were never the best of friends but that no longer matters. And our niece is just about to have mastectomy and chemo (her mother didnt survive breast cancer 4 years ago) and my hubs whose family this is lost both parents within 13 weeks last year. Life can be tough, but keep on keeping on is all you can do. Southwold is on my dream list (no machu pichu for me). I have read your blog for a long time and love it. Yours is one of the ones that cheers me on bad days. I hope your readers cheer you too. Big Love
    Susan x

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    1. Oh Susan, there's that saying it never rains but it pours.....you're right we keep on keeping on, nothing else to do really is there! So many people never mention that MS can kill, does kill, even the consultants are very wary of talking about this. My heart goes out to you sister in law, I hope she gets a chance to see her grandchild. I'm sure I'm managing my MS through diet and lifestyle but I still have utter respect for it as I know hoe aggressive it can be....I'm a bit of a lion tamer. I'm glad you enjoy reading my blog, and yes sweetheart, my readers cheer me up no end, take care :) xxx

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  21. Wow what an inspiring post. There is something wonderful about being by the sea - it always clears my head. South wold looks brilliant - might head that way this summer!

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    1. Thank you Karen, yes the sea really does clear your head doesn't it, helps me to be calm, put my thoughts into order......I really, really should live closer! ;) xxx

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  22. What a journey! Love your positive outlook, you are such an inspiration!! xx

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    1. Thank you....It's best not to know what's around the corner, if we knew what challenges lay ahead we might think we can't cope, the thing is all of us, not just me, usually just get on with it anyway! ;) xxx

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  23. What an amazing woman you are Amanda (I always think of you as Ada though!) ... Whatever life throws at you, you accept, deal with and get on with it. I'm not suggesting for a moment that any of it has been easy, I know it will have been a massive struggle and dramatic life change, but you paint such a positive picture, you're my inspiration! When life gets tough, I'm going to ask myself "what would Ada do" ?

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    1. I'm more than happy with Ada! Lots of people have much more to deal with that me, a lot have less....it's just the way of life Claire, I'm not one to give up on anything really. When I was little people used to bring me their knotted up chains to unravel, couldn't do them now with my eyesight, but I loved beating the chains! ;) xxx

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  24. you are great Ada ! I love the way you tell your story and I'm honestly impressed by your positive attitude… as always!!!
    xxxxxx ale

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    1. Thank you Ale, I'm not always positive but it certainly beats being negative! ;) xxx

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  25. What a moving post, I can see that the place is very special for you. You've been through so much, but you do sound quite calm and positive now. Although things aren't as you would have wished, as you say, people adapt and find happiness anyway. I'm sending you my very best wishes for the future, and many more happy trips to Southwold. CJ xx

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    1. Thank you CJ. I think if you allow yourself to be positive and happy you will be. If you don't then you won't, it's as simple as that really.....but that's not to say it's always easy! :) xxx

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  26. Lovely, just lovely! I'm really enjoying catching up with you and your adventures over a cup of tea this morning! Bee xx

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  27. Despite the huge challenges you have faced over the past few years I'm glad you have found somewhere where you can escape. I would recommend living by the sea, just watching the waves and breathing the sea air makes me feel good. Sarah x

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