I've grown up to believe my Mum has super human powers. Those of you who dispute the fact that Super Heroes exists, are deluding yourselves, I can prove it, she's called My Mum.
I knew from a very early age that my mums life hadn't been the easiest. We were an open family, no secrets, as it should be.....would you like to hear about her nine lives?
Her first life was used up, at the age of thirteen when her, (very much loved), father died suddenly. Now her dad, by all accounts was one of the best husbands, fathers, friends, solider you could ever wish to meet. Her mother literally fell to pieces, and was never the same again. At this young age she took on the role of mother to her baby sister, housekeeper, and carer to her own mum. Money was very tight and she learnt very quickly how to produce delicious meals out of almost nothing.
Personally I don't think she ever really got over the loss of her dad, she would talk about him as I was growing up, I wish I had met him.
Her second life was used up, when as a young woman, her heart was broken. She trusted her heart to a lying, cheating man, and consequently she was left, pregnant, unmarried, and abandoned by her family and friends. Outcast and alone, she fought and won, to keep her baby girl. No mean feat in the 1940s, and I am so, so proud of her for being able to do this. I'm not sure I could have been so strong. I don't know if she ever heard from him again, he was much older, with a family......perhaps she was looking for a father figure?
With a young baby to care for, and no social security to rely on, mum soon became very vulnerable and got jobs where she could. I know at one point she was surviving on an egg and an orange a day, so her daughter could eat. Mum became very undernourished, and during the 1950s had not one, but two bouts of TB. Luckily by this time her family had stepped up to the mark and were supporting her, I'm not sure what would have happened to my Big Sis otherwise.
Now how many lives is that? Four.
When she had recovered from her bouts of TB, mum got herself a great job and financially supported her daughter and mum. They settled in to a pattern. Life was ok, lots of good memories and my Big Sis didn't go without. She then met and married my dad.....and two more little girls joined the family! And he loved us all the same.
Over the next few years, as I was growing up there was a couple of near the knuckle events for mum, a burst appendix and an anaphylactic shock, but she survived.....yep a super hero by any accounts!
Now my mum, as you can tell, has worked hard all her life. When we were growing up we had a little shop. Mum worked from 8am to 10pm (9pm on Sundays!) EVERY DAY.....no holidays, no Christmases, just work, work, work. During their marriage my mum also had her father-in-law, and her own mum live with us.
In 1987, when I married they decided to retire. They got a little council flat and their pension and the world was there oyster. The sense of freedom for her was huge, she joined the over 50s club, yay....a life at last! Within the year she almost died again, with bowel cancer. Now how many lives.....seven.
Mum survived, and as always made the most of her life. When dad died she still carried on, getting out and about....holidaying with family and friends. She broke her hip, not a near death experience, that one just slowed her down and left her with a hobble!
Then a couple of years later, she got bowel cancer again, at the age of 81 she had her bowel removed, and had to learn how to live with a stoma. Very difficult, but she did it.....inspirational mum! And a couple of years later, Alzheimer's struck, and the mum we knew left.
A couple of days ago we learnt that mum has an infection that is causing her flesh to die. Her toes and foot are turning black. Hospital treatment isn't really an option, with her advanced dementia, an operation to remove the dead flesh wouldn't be done. She's on strong antibiotics and after my insistence, pain relief.
Now you know me for my positivity and my don't ask why, because it's a pointless question....but I am asking why, I'm screaming WHY, WHY, WHY! Why should a woman, who's gone through so much in her life, who's ALWAYS put others before herself, end her life in this way?
Everyday someone will be with her, I want to fill her room with love....and flowers, she loves flowers....and chocolate when she wants. She's on her last life, and we all know this one will get her, eventually.
But I also know My Mum, my Super Hero won't go without a fight. It's been a difficult couple of days for her. I rang this morning to see how she was, she's had a good nights sleep and woke perky.....PERKY! God, I love that woman!
She's the woman who called me.....
Ada Bea :) xxx